Do you know how many times I’ve had a plan of exactly what I wanted to accomplish with my horse, went out to ride, and their mood/energy level shattered that plan?

Yeah. Neither do I.

A lot. Like, for real. SO. MANY. TIMES.

As equestrians, we can be frustrated by these moments, or see them as a time and opportunity to build a deeper connection with our partner. (Or with a horse in training, whichever the case may be).

The other day I only had a few minutes to sneak in a ride, and all I had to ride in was a small indoor round pen. My plan? Do a quick walk, trot, canter each way and call it good. Do a little work on upward transitions, since our downward transitions are pretty solid given his age/training.

What did I end up working on?

Bending to the left.

As we were wandering around for our loose-rein warmup, he was tense, and had no bend while traveling left. Something was off. Maybe he stretched a muscle while playing too hard, or maybe he was just distracted.

So, for the next twenty minutes, he and I worked on bending both ways. On subtle cues and my leg position helping guide his body.

Now, I could have pushed ahead and done my walk, trot, canter. Pushed forward to get those upward transitions nice and forward and light. It would have been rushed. He would have felt awkward going to the left. I’d have felt frustrated. He’d have felt frustrated. And we both would have left unsatisfied.

Instead, I had those relaxed moments with the partner I hope to have for his entire lifetime. I listened to what he needed, and in turn, he worked his best.

On the flipside of this, there are days when I get on and I know he’d do his best to try anything I asked of him, but I’m the one who doesn’t have the energy or the drive or the time. That’s okay. The last time we had a day like that, I gave him the reins and let him decide where we wandered. He took me on a nice ride all over the property where we stopped to look at anything he found interesting.

We still both had a good ride – even though he was ready for more. The best I could do that day was foster his curiosity and reward it with skritches.

Honestly – this is why I do a few minutes of lunging almost every time I ride. It gives me a chance to see what my horse is doing without a rider. Gives us a chance to communicate before he’s hauling me around. I’m sure that as time goes by, I’ll feel the need to do this less and less. But for now, I need these few minutes more than he does.

As humans, we will absolutely mess this up once in a while. We will have decided that today is the day to work on X, and we’ll push and be frustrated and our horse will be frustrated. But then…we have another day. Don’t knock yourself for being human.

The point is – take a moment. Evaluate what you want to do. Your headspace. And then take a moment to check in with your horse. The only timeline you have is your own. Your riding time is far more about the pieces of the journey than whatever your end goals might be.

Once I’m playing with my horse, I’ve reached my destination. Everything else is just frosting – sweet and only somewhat necessary.

~ Jolene